110 Murder Puns That Will Leave You in Stitches

Murder mystery fans, crime lovers, and humor enthusiasts alike—prepare to laugh at these darkly hilarious “110 murder puns” that will keep you on your toes!

We’ve gathered a killer collection of puns and jokes that’ll make your funny bone get the death sentence.

Whether you’re planning a spooky-themed party or just need a good laugh to break the tension, these puns will hit harder than a villain’s signature weapon.

1. The Weapon of Choice

1. I’m not saying I’m a detective, but I have a knack for figuring out whodunit—mostly because of the murder weapon.
2. The murder weapon was a pencil. It was a sharp crime.
3. He was killed with a guitar. It was a deadly chord.
4. The chef was murdered with a knife. Guess it was a cutthroat situation.
5. She was murdered with a mirror. Guess it was reflecting her bad decisions.
6. I heard the victim was shot with a crossbow. It was arrow-dinary.
7. The murder weapon was a stapler. Guess you could say it was a binding crime.

2. Crime Scene Humor

8. The detective wasn’t good at solving crimes, but he nailed this one.
9. The crime scene was full of clues. It was a murderous mess!
10. They say the butler did it, but I’m starting to think the murderer was just serving up a lot of trouble.
11. I can’t trust a crime scene cleaner—looks like they’re always trying to wipe the slate clean.
12. The crime scene was messy. It was truly a bloody affair.
13. The detectives have been working all night. They’re a bit dead on their feet.
14. The victim was found in a library. The case was a real page-turner.

3. Killer Wit

15. I don’t believe in murder mysteries. They’re just a bloody waste of time!
16. I tried to solve the crime, but I kept getting wrapped up in the details.
17. The detective wasn’t very good. He always missed the point… especially with a stabbing!
18. They told me I should go to crime scene investigation school, but I just couldn’t stomach the idea.
19. That murderer sure had a lot of axe-cuses.
20. The detective cracked the case, and it was a murderous masterpiece.
21. The clue was right in front of me, but I didn’t see the body of evidence.

4. The Murderer’s Alibi

22. She couldn’t have committed the murder. She was too close to death herself!
23. He said he was innocent, but his alibi was just full of holes—much like the victim.
24. The alibi didn’t add up. It was killing me to try and figure it out.
25. The murderer didn’t have a good alibi. Guess he was dead wrong.
26. The detective said he had an airtight alibi, but it was full of fatal flaws.

5. Punny Murder Mystery Names

27. The victim’s name? Phil McCracken. Guess he was killed in the act.
28. The detective’s name was Sherlock Bones. He always sniffs out the truth.
29. The murderer was named Al B. Sure—he was really sure he could get away with it.
30. The suspect’s name was Chris P. Bacon. Too bad he couldn’t sizzle his way out of this one.
31. Her name was Anita Bath—the victim should’ve known she was about to get scrubbed out.
32. The butler was named Tim Ber. His alibi didn’t hold up in court.
33. The suspect’s last name was Graves—guess that should’ve been a dead giveaway.

6. Punny Crime Scenes

34. The murder took place in a bakery. Guess it was a kneadlessly messy crime scene.
35. The crime scene had police everywhere, but the real killer was the smell of death in the air.
36. The murder happened in a circus. Guess the killer was clowning around.
37. The crime scene smelled of fish. Guess it was a stinky murder.
38. The murder took place in an art gallery. The detective was sure the artist had a brush with death.
39. They found the murder weapon in a coffee shop. Looks like it was a latte trouble brewing.
40. The crime scene was in a bakery, and it wasn’t just the doughnuts that were fried.

7. Classic Murder Mystery Jokes

41. Why did the detective go to therapy? He had too many unresolved issues.
42. Why don’t murderers ever use email? They’re always trying to delete the evidence.
43. I heard the suspect was into art. Guess that explains the murderous strokes.
44. The murderer was caught on tape. Guess they made a killer video.
45. The victim was found with a broken clock. Guess it was their time to go.
46. Why did the murderer bring a pencil to the crime scene? To draw some attention.
47. The detective wasn’t very smart. He kept asking the wrong questions to the corpse.

8. The Detective’s Work

48. He’s a great detective—he always nails the case.
49. The detective tried to solve the murder, but every clue was a dead end.
50. The detective wasn’t very good. He was always beating a dead horse.
51. I heard the detective’s favorite food was murder mystery meatballs.
52. The detective could always tell when someone was lying—they had that dead look in their eyes.
53. The detective said he solved the case. I’m not convinced, though—sounds like a cold case.
54. The detective had a flair for the dramatic. He always killed it in court.

9. Murder Mystery Parties

55. At the murder mystery party, the victim was a real showstopper.
56. At the party, the murderer was so obvious, it was like the killer was wearing a T-shirt that said “I did it!”
57. My murder mystery party was a bloody success—everyone had a killer time.
58. I tried hosting a murder mystery dinner, but no one was killed with kindness.
59. The murderer didn’t even try to blend in at the party. He was too obvious.
60. At the murder mystery party, the food was to die for… literally.

10. More Dark Humor

61. What’s a murderer’s favorite board game? Clue, of course.
62. I heard the victim was stabbed with a pen. It was a pointed attack.
63. The murder took place in a supermarket. I guess it was shopping for trouble.
64. He was murdered with a book. Guess it was a chapter of doom.
65. The murderer didn’t leave a fingerprint—guess they murdered the evidence.
66. The murderer wasn’t good at cleaning up. There was a bloody mess everywhere.
67. I tried to crack the case, but the clues were too hard to swallow.
68. The suspect had a suspiciously clean record. Too clean, if you ask me.

11. Punny Slogans

69. Murder: The more you kill, the less you get caught.
70. For a real killer time, book a mystery party.
71. I killed it at my job today—literally.
72. Murdering the competition, one joke at a time.
73. Deadlines? I prefer deathlines.
74. This joke is to die for.
75. *Murder mysteries are just a matter of life and death.

12. The Ultimate Plot Twist

76. The killer wasn’t a person—it was a really bad pun.
77. The plot twist? The detective was actually dead the whole time.
78. The murderer had the perfect plan… until they made the deadly mistake.
79. The real culprit was the clothes hanger—it’s the one who always gets hung out to dry.
80. The detective never saw it coming—it was a grizzly end.

13. Unsolved Mysteries

81. Why didn’t the murder case ever get solved? It was a killer case of mistaken identity.
82. The murder was so mysterious, it became an unsolved issue.
83. The detective tried to solve it, but it was just a deathly silent case.
84. The mystery of the missing socks? It’s a cold case.
85. The detective was really into murder mysteries, but all his cases were dead ends.

14. Silly Murder Puns

86. What’s a killer’s favorite type of music? Death Metal.
87. The victim was stabbed in a bakery. It was a baked-in murder.
88. The detective was eating too many donuts. He was killing his waistline.
89. The murder wasn’t clean, but it was cutting-edge.
90. I would say this murder joke is bad, but that would be a dead giveaway.
91. The suspect’s alibi was full of holes. It was a suspiciously Swiss story.
92. The murder scene was full of bloody puns—a real gory situation.

15. Murderous Wordplay

93. They found the body at the gym—guess it was a suspended murder.
94. The detective said, “This is the last straw.” I think he was talking about the victim’s last breath.
95. The murder was a cereal killer. He just couldn’t stop at one.
96. I asked the detective how he solved the case. He said it was all in the details—even if those details were a bloody mess.
97. I thought the murder was complicated, but the detective just said, “It’s all pointless.”
98. The victim was found in a library. I guess it was booked for death.
99. The killer made a quick getaway. He bolted after the crime.
100. They say murder is never the answer—but it’s definitely a killer question.

16. A Killer Laugh

101. The murderer wasn’t clever enough to get away with it. Guess he was dying for an alibi.
102. The crime scene was full of so much blood. It was red-dy for a joke.
103. What did the detective say when the killer confessed? “Murder, you’re under arrest for this crime!”
104. The victim was poisoned, and it was definitely a toxic relationship.
105. The detective’s career was really taking off. He had a killer instinct.
106. The detective couldn’t solve the case. He was dead wrong.
107. The killer was always so quiet—guess that’s why they never heard him coming!
108. The victim wasn’t ready for the climactic end—but it was inevitable.
109. The detective said, “This is one for the books”… and he wasn’t joking!
110. It’s no surprise the detective solved the case. He was always one step ahead… in a killer way!