147+ Massage Puns That Will Have You Rolling With Laughter

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a good massage, you know the power of relaxation. But what if you could add a little humor into the mix?

We’re not just talking about feeling “kneaded” – we’re talking about a full-on “pun-derful” experience.

Get ready to enjoy these 140 hilarious massage puns that will leave you giggling and perhaps even reaching for the lotion to ease the tension of laughing too hard.

1. Knead Some Laughter. These Massage Puns Have You Covered!

1. I’m not just massaging you, I’m “kneading” you to relax!
2. You must be a massage therapist, because you’ve got me all rubbed up.
3. This massage is “kneaded” to say the least!
4. I’ve been feeling a little “tight” lately—good thing I got this massage.
5. I hope this massage doesn’t “backfire.”
6. I’ll give you a “kneading” hand if you need one.
7. Massage therapists always have a “touch” of greatness.
8. You’ve really worked out all my “kinks.”
9. Are you a professional? Because that massage was “professional-ly” amazing!
10. Don’t worry, I’ve got the “kneads” covered.

2. When You’re Ready to “Rub” It In

11. I’m trying to stay calm, but I’m just “rubbing” it in now.
12. A good massage will “rub” all your problems away.
13. Just remember, no matter what, “massage” is the key to happiness.
14. Don’t mind me, I’m just “rubbing” in how awesome this massage is.
15. I’ll never take a “rub” for granted again.
16. Let’s “rub” out all the tension.
17. You’re not just massaging, you’re “rubbing” my soul.
18. That was such a “rub”-around-the-world experience!
19. Nothing like a nice “rub” to shake off the stress.
20. I’ll be “rubbing” my sore muscles in peace after this.

3. “Tension” Is Gone, But The Puns Are Here to Stay

21. My body’s like a “rubber” band after this massage – stretched and relaxed!
22. You’ve got my muscles in a state of “tension relief.”
23. This massage is like a “stress-free zone” for my body.
24. All this tension is “no match” for your skills!
25. Goodbye tension, hello relaxation!
26. That was the “tension breaker” I needed.
27. I came in tense and left “untangled.”
28. Just needed some “relaxation therapy” in my life.
29. You’ve worked out all my knots and tensions—now I’m in knots of laughter.
30. I was all wound up until you “massaged” me into bliss.

4. Let’s Get “Rolling” with More Puns

31. Rolling with the punches… and the massage oils!
32. You’re making my muscles roll with joy.
33. I’m “rolling” into relaxation after that massage.
34. Time to get “rolling” with a soothing massage!
35. I guess you could say I’m “rolling” into relaxation.
36. That massage was so good, it’s got me “rolling” on cloud nine.
37. You’ve really “rolled” out the best massage today!
38. I’m “rolling” with laughter after that back rub.
39. I’m on a “roll” now, thank you for the amazing massage!
40. Rollin’ with the best massage therapist in town.

5. “Back” to Business

41. I’ve got your back – literally and figuratively.
42. When you work my back like that, you’ll always have my “back.”
43. I came in with a sore back, but now it’s “back” to feeling great.
44. I’ll be back… for another massage, that is!
45. Back to business: I’m ready for my next massage session.
46. It’s “back” to square one, but you’ve worked all the knots out.
47. That back rub hit all the right spots—feeling “back” in action.
48. Let’s “back” up and do this again, shall we?
49. I have a “backlog” of massages I need from you.
50. You really know how to “back” me up when I’m stressed!

6. Working Up a Sweat

51. I’m getting a “sweat” massage, no complaints here!
52. Is it hot in here, or is that just your massage technique?
53. You’re “sweating” the small stuff—and I love it!
54. That massage got me all “worked up.”
55. I could use another massage after this “sweat fest.”
56. You really know how to “sweat” the details in a good massage.
57. Time to “sweat” out the stress with another massage.
58. Your massage is a real “sweat” treat for me.
59. I’m “sweating” from how good that was.
60. How do you make me sweat and relax at the same time?

7. Massage Oils and Lotion Puns

61. That was an “oil”-mazing experience!
62. Just a little lotion and a whole lot of love in that massage.
63. “Oil” you need is a good massage.
64. Are you “oiling” me up for another round of relaxation?
65. I feel “greased” up and ready for a nap now.
66. This massage is “oiling” my mind as well as my body.
67. Lotion? Check. Relaxation? Double check!
68. You really “oiled” the wheels of relaxation for me.
69. Nothing like a good “lotion” to get the job done.
70. Your technique is “oily” the best thing I’ve ever felt.

8. “Tight” and Right

71. You’ve loosened me up, and now I’m “tight” with joy!
72. That massage was just what I needed to loosen up all my “tight” muscles.
73. I’ve been tight all day—now I’m as loose as a goose!
74. If I were any looser, I’d be a puddle on the floor.
75. I’m “tight” but in the best possible way.
76. My muscles were tight, but now I feel like I’m on cloud nine.
77. You’ve got my muscles feeling “tight” and right.
78. Tight spots? Not anymore, thanks to you!
79. I didn’t know my shoulders could “tighten” so much—thanks for easing them!
80. I came in tight, but you made me loose as a noodle.

9. A Kneaded Escape

81. I could use a “knead” of therapy every day.
82. Knead to relax? I got you covered.
83. I feel “kneaded” in the best possible way!
84. Massage therapists are the real “knead” for relaxation.
85. You’ve got me “kneading” a nap after this!
86. Kneading and rubbing – it’s a perfect combo!
87. I “knead” to tell you, this was the best massage ever!
88. This massage is just what I “kneaded” to unwind.
89. I’m all “kneaded” out and ready for a peaceful nap.
90. You’ve truly “kneaded” your way into my relaxation zone!

10. Smooth Moves

91. You’ve got some smooth moves with that massage technique!
92. This massage is smoother than a jazz tune.
93. Those moves are so smooth, I’m practically melting!
94. Smooth as butter, your hands work wonders.
95. Those smooth strokes have got me feeling like jelly.
96. You’ve smoothed away every ounce of tension.
97. That was as smooth as a perfect massage!
98. Smooth moves and relaxation grooves—I’m hooked.
99. I never knew “smooth” could feel so good until now.
100. You’ve got a smooth touch, and I’m loving it.

11. “Hands” Down the Best

101. These hands were made for massaging—and that’s just what they’ll do!
102. Hands down, that was the best massage I’ve ever had.
103. You’ve got magic in those hands!
104. Hands up for the best massage ever!
105. With hands like these, you’re always “hands” down the best.
106. Those hands of yours could cure anything!
107. Your hands are “hand”-s down the best in the business!
108. All I need is a good pair of hands, and you’ve got both!
109. I’d raise my hands in applause, but my muscles are too relaxed.
110. If those hands were a magic wand, they’d have cast the perfect spell.

12. Laughing All the Way to the “Spa”

111. You’ve got me laughing all the way to the “spa”!
112. I’m not just relaxed; I’m laughing at how good this massage is!
113. Massage and laughter: a match made in heaven.
114. I could “spa” all day long with those hands!
115. This massage is making me laugh more than I thought possible.
116. Who knew massage therapy could make me laugh this hard?
117. Laughter is the best medicine… but this massage comes pretty close!
118. It’s a “spa”-ctacular experience, and I’m here for it!
119. Laughing, relaxed, and loving every moment of this spa day.
120. I don’t know if it’s the massage or the jokes, but I’m in stitches!

13. A Quick Fix for Your Day

121. A little massage goes a long way, and I’m feeling like a new person!
122. Massage therapy: the quick fix for any kind of day.
123. A little massage and some laughs make the best therapy!
124. I came in stressed, and now I’m fixed up and feeling fine.
125. Who knew a little massage could “fix” so much?
126. When life gets tough, I go for a “quick fix” at the massage table.
127. I’m “fixed” in all the right ways after that massage.
128. The best part of a tough day? A good massage and a smile.
129. You’ve worked wonders, now I’m fixed and ready to go.
130. I came in a mess and left “fixed” – thank you!

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14. Wrapping Up with More Massage Magic

131. Just when I thought you couldn’t top that, you “wrapped” it up perfectly.
132. You’ve “wrapped” up the best massage experience ever!
133. I’m “wrapped” in relaxation and couldn’t feel better.
134. Who knew the secret to happiness was a little “wrap-around” massage?
135. Massage is like a gift – you “unwrap” the tension and leave it with joy!
136. From head to toe, you’ve got me “wrapped” around your finger.
137. Feeling “wrapped” in bliss after that relaxing session.
138. Massage therapists really know how to “wrap” up a great session.
139. A good massage is like a perfect “wrap” – complete and comforting.
140. I’m wrapped up in relaxation, thanks to your amazing skills.

15. The “Pressure” is Off with These Puns

141. The “pressure” of life just melted away with that massage.
142. Feeling the “pressure”? A good massage can take it all away.
143. This massage takes the “pressure” off and brings the joy on.
144. It’s all about the “pressure” when it comes to a good massage.
145. When you’re under pressure, just ask for a massage to “press” it away.
146. I was under so much pressure, but now I feel like a whole new person.
147. A little “pressure” is good for you, but not when it comes to stress!
148. I was so “pressured,” but after that massage, I’m feeling stress-free.