134+ Hilarious Almond Puns That Will Crack You Up

Almonds may be a small snack, but they pack a big punch of humor! Whether you’re a fan of dad jokes, and wordplay, or love the idea of cracking a nutty joke, you’ve come to the right place.

Get ready for a whole bunch of hilarious and unique almond puns that will have you laughing out loud. Let’s get cracking with 130 almond puns that’ll leave you in stitches!

1. Almond Puns for Nutty Laughs

1. Why did the almond go to therapy? It had some serious nutty issues.
2. I’m nuts about almonds. They’re just so “almond”azing!
3. Don’t go cracking up! This almond’s not that funny… or is it?
4. That almond is a real “crack” up!
5. Almonds always leave me feeling a little “nutty.”
6. You’re totally “nuts” if you don’t love almonds.
7. Almonds make everything better. That’s no “nutty” opinion!
8. Life’s “nutty” when you can’t enjoy a good almond.
9. When I need a snack, I always go “nuts” for almonds!
10. You can’t “crack” an almond without making a joke about it!

2. Nutty Almond Wordplay

11. Have you heard about the almond who wanted to be a comedian? He was pretty “a-mand-ing”!
12. I asked the almond to tell me a joke, but it was a “bit nutty” for my taste.
13. I’m “nuts” about these almond jokes – they always make me crack up.
14. Don’t get “shell-shocked”—you can’t stop almond jokes from coming.
15. Almonds are so “a-mand-ing” they’ll leave you in stitches.
16. You’re “cracking” me up with these almond puns!
17. Almonds: the “nutty” snack that’s always the life of the party.
18. I’ve got a “cracking” good joke about almonds… but it’s a little “salty.”
19. Stop “shelling” out excuses—just enjoy some almonds!
20. Sometimes life is a little “nutty” — but that’s what makes almonds so special!

3. Hilarious Almond and Nut Jokes

21. Why did the almond refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to “deal” with it.
22. Are you “nuts” about almonds or just cracking under pressure?
23. You’re “almond” the best at telling these jokes!
24. Almonds are always “a-nut” away from greatness.
25. I “almond” you to stop cracking jokes… but you won’t listen, will you?
26. The almond said, “I’m not afraid of being cracked; I was born for this!”
27. Almonds don’t mind being a little “nuts.” It’s their “shell-f” confidence.
28. Almonds are the “pistachio” of the nut world.
29. When life gets tough, just eat an almond—it’ll “nut-ure” your soul.
30. Almonds are always cracking me up, and it’s no surprise!

4. Almond Jokes That’ll Have You in Stitches

31. Don’t make fun of my almond obsession—I’m just “nut-ural” that way!
32. Why was the almond stressed? It was a bit too “nut-ural.”
33. The almond walked into a bar and said, “I’ll have a “nut-ritious” drink!”
34. Almonds are a tough nut to crack, but I’m always up for the challenge!
35. I can’t “almond-erstand” how anyone doesn’t like almonds!
36. This almond is so funny, it’s “nuts”!
37. Almonds never feel “left out”—they’re always in a good “shell”!
38. If you’re having a bad day, just “almond” it and move on!
39. The almond jokes are just getting “a-nut-ral” at this point.
40. I don’t “almond” it, but I just love these puns.

5. Almond-Themed Puns That Crack You Up

41. These almond jokes are “crack”tacular!
42. Almonds: the only snack that can truly “break the ice.”
43. I could “almond” you to listen to this joke for hours!
44. Almonds are the perfect snack for those who are “nut-ural” comedians.
45. The almond told the other, “Let’s crack up, it’s time for some fun!”
46. You’re “shell”-iously the best at almond puns!
47. Almonds are my favorite because they always leave me feeling “nut-tural.”
48. I’m having a “nut-ural” reaction to these almond jokes. So funny!
49. “Nut” everyone likes almonds, but I find them “a-mand-ing.”
50. Don’t be “almond”-ous! Share the joke with everyone!

6. More Almond Humor for Your Inner Nut

51. Why did the almond start a podcast? It was a great “shell-f” promoter.
52. I had an almond joke, but it was too “cracked” to say!
53. I’m going nuts over how good these almond puns are!
54. I’m “almond”-ing for some more hilarious jokes!
55. The almond couldn’t help but crack itself up.
56. I don’t want to “shel-l” the truth, but these almond jokes are the best!
57. It’s no secret – almond jokes are “nut” to be missed!
58. If you were an almond, you’d be “a-mand-ing” respect.
59. Almonds are better than other nuts because they’re just “nut-ural” comedians.
60. If you can’t handle the almond jokes, you may be “shell-shocked”!

7. The “Shell” of a Good Time

61. Almonds are the secret to a “nut-ritious” laugh!
62. That almond really knew how to “shell-ter” a crowd with laughter.
63. Are you ready for more almond jokes? Don’t “shell” away now!
64. The almond knows how to have a “nut”-sational time!
65. The almond cracked itself up and everyone else “shell-ed” with laughter.
66. This almond is a real “crack-er” of a joke!
67. I’m nuts for almond jokes that are this “shell-arious”!
68. They say almonds are the “crack” of the nut world.
69. What do you call a clever almond? A “nut”-tural comedian!
70. Stop being “shell-fish,” share these almond jokes with everyone!

8. More Puns to Keep You Cracking Up

71. I think I “almond” you an apology for how good these jokes are!
72. Don’t get “shell-shocked”—this almond pun is too funny.
73. I’m cracking up because these almond jokes are “nut-urally” hilarious!
74. The almond might have cracked, but the joke was “nut” broken.
75. Let’s have a nutty time with some more almond humor!
76. Almonds are cracking me up with their “a-mand-ing” jokes.
77. Almonds have this “nut-ural” charm that makes everything funny!
78. That almond’s sense of humor is really “cracked” up.
79. I can’t stop laughing at these almond jokes – they’re just “shell”-f made for me!
80. “Almond” I see it, this is the best joke I’ve heard all day!

9. Almond Jokes That Are Absolutely Nuts

81. You’re a “nut” for not laughing at these almond jokes!
82. Just when I thought the almond jokes couldn’t get better, I “shell” shocked myself!
83. The almond puns are cracking up the “nut-ural” world.
84. Who knew almonds could be so “nut-ural” when it comes to humor?
85. When life gets tough, eat an almond—its humor is always “shell”-f supporting.
86. No one can resist the allure of a good almond joke. It’s “nut-ural.”
87. When an almond is feeling shy, it just “shells” up.
88. Have a “nut”-ritious laugh with these almond puns!
89. You’re totally “almond” the best for cracking these jokes!
90. “Shell”-ishly good laughs all around with almond puns!

10. More Almond Puns, More Fun!

91. The almond gave a “crack”-ing performance last night!
92. I can’t “almond” this, these puns are so good.
93. You’ve got to be “nut-ural” to pull off such perfect almond humor!
94. Almonds always have the best “shell-f” jokes!
95. It’s true – I’m totally “nuts” for these almond puns!
96. These almond jokes are too “a-mand-ing” to miss!
97. The almond told the other: “You’re cracking me up!”
98. Every almond pun is a “nut”-ural for making you laugh.
99. Almonds are “shell”bent on making everyone laugh!
100. I’ve “almond” enough jokes for today, but I could do this all day!

11. Almonds, Cracked and Ready for More Fun

101. Why don’t almonds go to parties? They’re “shell-fish”!
102. This almond joke is “a-mand-ing” the spotlight right now!
103. Want a laugh? Just “almond” and behold, a pun.
104. You’re truly “a-mand-ing” in the world of almond humor!
105. Who knew almonds could bring so many smiles? They’re truly “nut-ural.”
106. Let’s “almond”-ize the humor with these fantastic puns!
107. If I had a penny for every time I laughed at an almond joke, I’d be “almond-ing” millions.
108. Almonds crack me up so much I’m starting to feel “nut-tural” about it.
109. Those almonds sure know how to “shell” out the fun!
110. I’m just “almond”-ing my business and cracking jokes everywhere!

12. A Nutty Ending to an Almond Journey

111. I love a good almond pun to “shell” away my worries.
112. Life’s better with a little “nut” humor, especially almonds.
113. You “almond” to be kidding me if you don’t find these jokes hilarious!
114. The almond jokes are “shell-arious” enough to keep me laughing.
115. Can you “almond” up any better joke than this?
116. If almond jokes were money, I’d be a “millionaire”!
117. Sometimes I feel like almonds are the “nut-ural” comedians.
118. I’m “nut”-tural at making almond jokes just for fun.
119. I’m “almond”-ing over here because these puns are cracking me up.
120. Almonds are the best when it comes to cracking jokes!

13. Final Round of Nutty Almond Puns

121. Don’t “shell” the truth, you know these almond jokes are amazing!
122. My almond puns are cracking, and I’m just getting started!
123. The almond joked, “You’re nuts if you don’t think I’m funny!”
124. I can’t “almond” to stop laughing.
125. Almonds: where humor always comes “a-mand-ing.”
126. The best almond joke? “Nut-urally” the one you tell with a smile.
127. You’re “almond” amazing for reading all the way through this!
128. Stop cracking up at my almond jokes… no, keep cracking them up!
129. These almond puns just keep cracking me up!
130. Who knew almonds could be so “nut-ural” at humor?

14. The Almond Comedy Show Continues

131. If almonds could talk, they’d definitely be “shell-f” made for comedy!
132. This almond joke is so funny, it’s “cracking” me up.
133. Almonds should run for president—they’re always “nut-ural” leaders!
134. The almond walked into a party and immediately became the “life of the nut!”
135. Have you tried almond butter? It’s “nut-ural” peanut butter’s best friend.
136. You can always rely on an almond for some “shell-arious” humor!