110 Medieval Puns: The Ultimate Collection of Royal Humor

Medieval times were full of knights, castles, dragons, and more. But one thing you might not expect from this era is that it was also packed with a lot of puns.

Whether it’s a pun on a knight’s valor or a jest at the local tavern, medieval puns have a special way of making us giggle even in the 21st century.

So, buckle up your armor and get ready to laugh as we dive into 110 medieval puns that are sure to slay!

1. Knightly Puns

1. Why did the knight always bring a pencil to battle? Because he wanted to draw his sword!
2. What’s a knight’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good knight beat!
3. I’m feeling a bit knight tonight. Think I’ll just stay in and relax in my castle.
4. Why did the knight go to therapy? He was having a medieval crisis!
5. I tried to start a band with a knight once. We were called “The Knights Who Say Rock.”
6. What do you call a knight’s favorite meal? A sirloin steak!
7. How does a knight prefer to communicate? By sending knightly letters!

2. Castle-Themed Puns

8. Why don’t castles ever get lonely? Because they’re always keeping things together!
9. What do you call a castle made of cheese? A gouda fortress!
10. Why was the castle always so cold? It had draughty windows.
11. Did you hear about the royal castle? It was quite fortified.
12. What’s a castle’s favorite type of music? Rock and roll.

3. Dragon Puns

13. What’s a dragon’s favorite breakfast? Firecakes!
14. Why don’t dragons ever tell secrets? Because they have a fire mouth!
15. What do you call a dragon with a good sense of humor? A smokin’ comedian!
16. Why did the dragon stop attending school? He was tired of being flamed for his grades.
17. What did the dragon say to the knight? “Quit scorching my vibe!”
18. What do you call a dragon that works out? A muscledragon.
19. Why did the dragon go to therapy? He had fire issues!

4. Medieval Jobs and Professions

20. What do you call a medieval dentist? A plague doctor.
21. Why don’t blacksmiths ever lose their jobs? They always forge ahead!
22. What does a medieval barber say to his customers? “Let me trim your expectations!”
23. What do you call a medieval poet? A bard of all trades!
24. Why did the knight refuse to be a blacksmith? He didn’t want to forge his future.
25. What’s a jester’s favorite game? Joke around the castle!

5. Armor and Weaponry Puns

26. Why did the knight wear such heavy armor? He wanted to shield himself from bad puns.
27. What did the knight say to his sword? “You cut to the heart of the matter.”
28. Why was the armor so good at making decisions? It was always well-armored with information.
29. How do knights stay in shape? By swording through their exercises!
30. What do you call a knight with a rusty sword? A rusty knight!

6. Medieval Court Puns

31. Why was the king always in a hurry? Because he didn’t want to reign in too late!
32. What do you call a royal advisor with a lot of knowledge? A court expert!
33. Why do kings make terrible comedians? They’re always too crowned with authority!
34. What did the queen say to the jester? “Stop being so jestful.”
35. Why did the king refuse to play cards? He had too many royal flushes.
36. What do you call a king who loves puns? A punderful monarch!

7. Medieval Food Puns

37. What’s a knight’s favorite fruit? Siranberry!
38. Why did the medieval chef always cook at the castle? He was the royal chef.
39. What do you call a knight’s breakfast? Sirloin eggs!
40. What’s a dragon’s favorite dessert? Flame grilled pie!
41. What did the peasant say about the bread? “It’s just knead to be.”
42. Why did the medieval baker love his job? Because he knew how to rise to the occasion.

8. Medieval Transportation Puns

43. What do you call a knight who rides a horse? A horseman!
44. Why didn’t the knight ever drive? He preferred chariot rides.
45. What’s a knight’s favorite form of travel? A horsepower ride.
46. Why did the king buy a new carriage? He needed more royal room!
47. What’s the fastest medieval transportation? A knight train.

9. Medieval Love and Romance Puns

48. What did the knight say to his lady love? “You sword me right over.”
49. Why did the medieval couple break up? They had too many medieval differences.
50. What did the queen say to the knight who tried to propose? “You’ve charmed me.”
51. Why do knights always make the best dates? They know how to treat a lady like royalty!
52. What’s a medieval lover’s favorite flower? A rose for their lady!

10. Miscellaneous Medieval Puns

53. Why did the knight bring a ladder to the tournament? He wanted to climb the ranks.
54. What do you call a medieval dog? A bark of the kingdom!
55. Why was the blacksmith so good at cooking? He was a master of forgeing meals.
56. Why don’t you want to mess with a knight’s horse? It’s marevelous at kicking!
57. What did the peasant say to the king? “I knead more work!”

11. Knight and Day Puns

58. Why did the knight always sleep during the day? He was a night person.
59. What did the knight say to his friend after a long battle? “That was a long knight!”
60. Why don’t knights like to go out at night? They prefer daylight saving!
61. What do you call a knight with a sunburn? A day knight!
62. Why are knights so good at writing poetry? They’re night poets.

12. Medieval Animals Puns

63. What do you call a medieval cat? A purrfect companion.
64. Why don’t dragons play cards? They’re always flaming their hands.
65. What do you call a medieval horse who tells jokes? A punny pony!
66. Why did the knight bring his pet horse to the party? Because he was horseplayin’ around!

13. Medieval Fortune-Telling Puns

67. What did the medieval fortune teller say to the knight? “I see sword in your future!”
68. Why did the knight get a fortune told? He needed some armor for his future.
69. What did the fortune teller say about the king’s health? “You royal get better soon!”

14. Jester Puns

70. Why did the jester get fired? He was jest too much.
71. What’s a jester’s favorite party game? Joke pong!
72. Why did the jester’s puns fail? He was just too fool-ish!
73. How do you make a jester laugh? Tell them a silly pun!

15. Historical Battle Puns

74. Why didn’t the knight want to go to battle? He was sword of afraid!
75. What do you call a victorious knight? A battle tested legend.
76. What did the knight say to his opponent after winning? “You sword have seen that coming!”
77. Why do knights always make bad sports players? Because they’re sword too competitive!

16. Medieval Time Puns

78. Why did the knight never show up on time? He had medieval time management issues!
79. What do you call an ancient clock? A timely knight!
80. Why did the knight complain about the calendar? It was always too medieval!

17. Medieval Party Puns

81. Why do knights always throw great parties? They know how to sword out the best guests!
82. What did the jester bring to the royal party? Jokes and jest!
83. Why was the medieval party always a hit? Because it was full of knightly fun!
84. What do you call a medieval party without music? A knightmare!

18. Final Thoughts

85. Why are puns from the medieval times so timeless? Because they’re always reigning supreme in the pun kingdom!
86. Why do medieval jokes last so long? They have a lot of knightly endurance.

19. Medieval Superheroes Puns

87. What do you call a knight who fights dragons in his spare time? Sirious about saving the kingdom!
88. Why did the king always hang out with the wizard? Because he had spellbinding charisma!
89. What do you call a knight with a cape? A super knight!
90. Why did the jester become a superhero? Because he had punctuality as his superpower!
91. What’s a knight’s favorite superhero? Captain Armor!

20. Medieval Royalty Puns

92. What did the queen say after she won the joust? “I reign supreme!”
93. Why do queens make terrible stand-up comedians? They crown their own jokes.
94. Why was the prince so good at math? He was a royal numerist.
95. What’s a king’s favorite type of music? Regal rock!
96. Why did the queen always sit in the front row at the royal theater? She liked to crown the best seats.

21. Medieval Weapons and Combat Puns

97. Why was the sword always so confident? It was sharp as a tack!
98. What’s a knight’s least favorite weapon? The blunt truth.
99. Why did the knight refuse to use the crossbow? It wasn’t his type of weapon.
100. What do you call a fight between two knights? A swordplay!
101. Why do knights have such good aim? They sword the best at hitting targets!

22. Medieval Money and Wealth Puns

102. Why did the knight bring gold to the castle? He wanted to be sworded with wealth.
103. What’s a knight’s favorite way to earn money? By hitting the goldmine!
104. Why was the royal accountant always so happy? He was great at balanceing the kingdom’s wealth.
105. Why do medieval lords love collecting taxes? It’s a noble profession!

23. Medieval Festivals and Fairs Puns

106. What do you call a medieval fair with no knights? A peasant gathering!
107. Why did the knight get kicked out of the fair? He was too sword to be around!
108. What do you call a medieval festival in a bakery? A flourishing event!
109. Why don’t knights throw parties at fairs? They tend to get joust too rowdy!

24. Medieval Education Puns

110. Why didn’t the knight graduate? He didn’t pass his swordsmanship exam!
111. What do you call a medieval school for knights? A knight school!
112. Why was the jester always on the honor roll? He clowned his way to the top!
113. What’s a knight’s favorite subject? Armory!

25. Medieval Mythology Puns

114. Why don’t knights believe in dragons? Because they think it’s just a mythical tale!